Rocky Eyes

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Bob walked hesitantly into the classroom. He looked at Mr Bingo. He was a little scared. Then he said to him in a halting voice, “Good morning, Mr Bingo.”

Mr Bingo, looking over his glasses: “Morning. What can I do for you?”

Bob: “I am Bob. I am a journalist. I lost my tape-recorder some days ago. The guy at Stony-Hearted Park sent me here. Maybe you…”

Mr Bingo: “Never say that again. Say ‘voice–robber’. That’s what it really is. How did you lose it?”

Bob: “A man took it from me. He was running so fast I could not catch him…”

Mr Bingo: “When did you come to Rocky Eyes?”

Bob annoyed: “I do not exactly know.”

Mr Bingo: “Your machine, is it a new one?”

Bob: “Yes.”

Mr Bingo: “Oh, I see. You are a non-resident, then.”

Bob: “Yes…”

Mr Bingo: “That’s normal then.”

Bob: “What? What’s normal?”

Mr Bingo: “Oh, nothing. Have you been to the Apes Hunting Club?”

Bob: “No, I haven’t. Why? Can they help me?”

Mr Bingo, shrugging his shoulders: “Who knows? They sometimes do.”

Bob left and proceeded to Apes Hunting Club. He arrived at a small building. On the front door, a notice said: ‘Apes Hunting Club’.

Bob knocked and an old lady opened the door.

The old lady: “Sorry, sir. They are not here. The club members must be hunting now.”

Bob: “Where can I find them?”

The old lady: “At Big Apes Forest.”

Bob: “Where is it?”

The old lady: “Just ask people and they will show you the way.”

Bob arrived at Big Apes Forest. He was perspiring. He walked into the deep forest and started searching. Suddenly Bob heard a voice behind him: “Here is one!” 

Bob turned his head and saw a big ape pointing a rifle towards him. It started firing. Other apes too started firing at him from everywhere.

Bob had just enough time to escape. He ran down the forest as fast as he could. Then he saw another man running in the same direction. He kept on running and caught up with him. Both were out of reach now. They stopped, panting.

The man, puffing and panting: “Hello. I am John Nitor.”

Bob: “I am Bob. Glad to meet you, John.”

John: “What are you doing here?”

Bob: “I wanted to meet the guys of the hunting club.”

John: “So you too? You have lost your tape-recorder?”

Bob: “How do you know?”

John: “I lost mine too. It was a new one. I was advised to get in touch with the hunting club here, in this forest.”

Bob: “Did you meet them?”

John: “Who?”

Bob: “The members of the hunting club.”

John: “Oh sure I did. Big apes who welcomed me with a hail of automatic gunfire.”

Bob: “The apes…?”

John, nodding his head: “Mmm…”

Bob: “Who sent you to the forest?”

John: “Mr Bingo. He told me I had the choice to either come here, or go to the local football team, at the town stadium.”

Bob: “How about going to the football team. Let’s hope they are less aggressive.”

Fifteen minutes later Bob and John were walking into the stadium. They headed for the playing field. They were astonished by what they saw. The playing field was full of referees whistling in all directions, but there was just one footballer!

Bob amazed: “Fantastic! A referee-ball match! I wish I had my tape- recorder. I would describe this to my wife. At Rocky Eyes you really see ‘never seen’ spectacles.”

The match was soon over and the footballer got out of the field. Bob looked at him and said to John,

“He must be the local football team.”

Then to the footballer: “Excuse me, sir. We were told that you could help us.”

The footballer: “Help you with what?”

Bob: “Get our voice-robbers back…”

Footballer: “Are they new?”

Bob: “Yes.”

Footballer: “When did you bring them to Rocky Eyes?”

Bob: “A couple of weeks ago.”

Footballer: “I’m sorry. You are non-residents and your voice-robbers must be under metamorphosis for transfo-localization at the time-being. They are still voice-robbers. I advise you to go to the Big Deal Supermarket. They sell beautiful re-adjusted ones there. Now, I must go. Excuse me. Good-bye.”

Bob and John together: “Good-bye!”

The Big Deal Supermarket is a colorful place. Bob and John walked in. They stopped at the electronic department. Tape-recorders of different brands were displayed. Bob took one and is surprised to hear a tic-tac coming from it. Bob switched on the tape-recorder. The tape-recorder started ringing. A lot of people gathered around them. Bob and John felt a bit embarrassed. The head of the department came up to them and said politely, “Can I help you, sir?”

Bob, a little bit disturbed and pointing his finger at the tape-recorder: “How much is this voice-robber?”

The head of the department: “I’m sorry sir. That’s not a voice-robber. It’s an alarm-clock. As you can see it, the price is stuck on the box.”

Bob: “Thank you…Thank you very much.”

Then turns to John: “We’d better go, John.”

Bob and John stepped out of the Big Deal Supermarket. They wandered for a while on the streets. Suddenly a motor-cycle hit John and he fell down on the ground. John’s left foot started bleeding. Bob was started calling for help. Then Bob stopped a taxi, “Please, my friend has had an accident. Is there a doctor in the nearby?”

John was taken in the taxi to the nearest doctor. They arrived at a very clean place. On the front door was written – “Dr. Butch Ercoin”.

Bob and John walked in. John was dragging his foot. The doctor, a fifty year old stocky man, welcomed them, “What’s the matter with your friend, sir?”

Bob: “He has been hit by a motorcycle…He is injured…”

The doctor looked at John’s foot for a few seconds, and then said to Bob, “Your friend needn’t have come here. He could have just sent his foot in a parcel to us by registered express mail…”

Bob: “What? What did you say?”

The doctor: “Sorry, sir. I am a specialist. Your friend’s trouble is with his foot, so what does interest me is only his foot. Do you get what I mean?”

Bob astonished: “Thank you, doctor.  We surely will think about it in the future.”

The doctor: “Don’t bother. I’m going to cut your friend’s foot off. You will come back here tomorrow and take it with you, repaired.”

John, panicking: “Oh, no, Doctor. I’m all right now. My foot does not hurt me anymore. Bob, let’s go.”

The doctor: “Oh, no. You can’t leave.”

Bob: “Why can’t we leave?”

The doctor: “To leave my office now, your friend needs a permit signed by the mayor.”

Bob: “A permit?”

The doctor: “Yes. Your friend needs a permit to leave my office in W.I.”

Bob: “W.I.?”

The doctor: “Yes, in Whole Integrity. Unless you…”

Bob: “Okay. I’ll go right now to the mayor.”

Then pointing his finger to John: “You wait for me here. Do not move.”

Bob rushed out of the doctor’s office.

Ten minutes later, Bob was sitting on a chair in a big room and was waiting for his turn to see the mayor. A man came up and said to Bob, “You can see the mayor now.”

Bob stepped inside the mayor’s office. A dirty mechanic was standing there. He was repairing a car. Bob was puzzled.

Bob, to the mechanic: “Excuse me. I must be at the wrong place. Could you tell me where the mayor’s office is, please?”

The mechanic, wiping his hands: “I am the mayor. I am an encyclopaedia. I can do everything. Tell me what you want.”

Bob, a little surprised: “My friend is at the doctor’s office. He needs a permit to leave in W.I.”

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